Living with Uncertainty: A Therapist’s Perspective

If there’s anything that keeps me and my fellow psychotherapists engaged in our work, it’s the pervasive nature of uncertainty. We can only dance on the horns of a dilemma for so long before the familiar specters of obsession, anxiety, and depression — the hallmarks of mental distress — begin to take hold. The urgency to resolve uncertainty feels almost palpable, further intensifying the suffering that stems from not knowing. No matter how much we might wish to foresee the future — be it regarding an election or other significant events — such foresight remains beyond our grasp.

This reality can feel particularly cruel, not only because life consistently presents us with ambiguity, but also because our brains are wired as prediction machines. As philosopher Andy Clark eloquently articulates, the mind operates as “a kind of constantly running simulation of the world around us — or at least, the world as it matters to us.” We construct mental models of how the world operates, updating them as new information comes our way. However, when faced with ambiguous data, confusion can ensue, and if this confusion lingers unresolved, suffering follows suit. For instance, living with someone who was nurturing one day and abusive the next diminishes our predictive capacity, eroding our confidence to make informed choices.

In such scenarios, the next step often leads to my office, where clients learn the critical skill of not just tolerating uncertainty in decision-making but also embracing and exploring it. This process allows them to carry that newfound knowledge into the future. This therapeutic approach is particularly relevant when the uncertainty revolves around personal matters — such as whether to leave a marriage, enter into one, or navigate complex relationships where love is intertwined with hurt.

However, the nature of uncertainty has shifted in recent times for many of my clients. While they continue to grapple with personal dilemmas, a significant portion of their uncertainty now centers on something over which they ultimately have a say — their votes. Yet, even after casting their ballots, they remain uncertain about the outcome. Over the past month, I have not conducted a single therapy session without at least some mention of the presidential election, and these discussions are rarely light-hearted, resembling a casual comment on the weather. Instead, they evoke feelings of sleeplessness, jitters, and a host of other psychic disturbances. The future feels shrouded in ambiguity, and the data available to update their mental models — including polls, pundits, and conversations with neighbors — only serves to amplify that uncertainty.

While I refrain from polling my clients about their political preferences, I suspect a majority lean toward Harris, or at the very least, against Trump. Yet, the sense of uncertainty plagues everyone, regardless of their political affiliations. The fears expressed by my clients, reflective of our deeply polarized climate, often stand in stark contrast to one another: visions of millions rounded up, interned, and deported versus apocalyptic scenarios of hordes crossing the southern border to engage in violence and chaos. Although one of these narratives may be more grounded in reality than the other, I strive to support the fears and outrage voiced by those who align with Harris, while gently encouraging Trump supporters to critically examine their beliefs. I often remind them of the troubling legacy that can arise from politicians who speak of targeting the so-called “enemy from within.”