Shared Birthdays: A Complicated Situation
Five years ago, my sister made the decision to schedule her C-section on my birthday. She mentioned that it would be fun for both her baby and me to share a birthday. While I tried to be supportive, I couldn’t shake off my annoyance. Now, as my nephew turns 5, I find myself still holding a grudge about the fact that my special day was overshadowed. This year, my sister is throwing a party for him, and while I have my own plans, I’m torn about missing out on my day or having to share it. It feels increasingly complicated each year! I can’t help but wonder if it would have been better to have separate birthdays, even if they were just a day apart. But what’s done is done, and I’m left questioning whether my feelings of irritation are justified.
Understanding the Core of the Issue
SISTER: When my birthday falls on a weekday — which happens most years — I usually take a flexible approach, finding an evening that works best for my husband or friends to celebrate with me. Often, I end up celebrating on a day other than my actual birthday, and I’ve noticed that most adults I know do the same. From my experience with young children, parents typically plan kids’ parties for the weekend. This makes me wonder if the root of the problem you’re facing — the added complexity of sharing a birthday — is really the core issue. Do you even celebrate on the same day?
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. However, I suspect that the true source of your irritation isn’t merely having to pop by your sister’s place for an hour to enjoy some birthday cake for a child. Instead, it seems more likely that your frustration arises from her decision — five years ago — to use your birthday without consulting you first.
I don’t think your feelings will dissipate until you have an open conversation with your sister about it. There’s no need to make a huge deal out of the situation. Be sure to express to her that you recognize she didn’t intend to upset you. Then, you can say something along the lines of: “But I really wish you had asked me before choosing my birthday.” As you pointed out, what’s done is done. Yet, venting your feelings might just provide some relief.
A New Chapter After a Breakup
What a Difference a Semester Makes
I’m currently a senior in high school, and my ex-girlfriend is now a freshman in college. Recently, she broke up with me via text message, stating she didn’t want to communicate until she returned home for Thanksgiving. I find myself grappling with whether or not I should reach out to her and consider giving her a second chance. To provide some context: I learned from her roommate that my ex has been smoking weed, something I truly dislike. She lied to me when I directly asked her about it. Additionally, she deceived me about attending a frat party; I can track her location through my phone. Now, I’m left wondering what steps to take next. Should I give her another shot, or is it better to move on?