A Long-Lasting Partnership in Their Golden Years

For nearly two decades, they have shared an unmarried life together. Both having experienced the loss of their spouses, this couple, now in their 90s, has established separate homes in Florida. However, they mostly reside in her house, a situation that is becoming increasingly crucial due to her developing memory loss.

As her condition progresses, she sometimes forgets to eat and has suffered a few falls. “His presence is incredibly supportive,” shared Jenna Wells, a relative and psychologist at Cornell University. “He takes her to medical appointments and treats her to dinners.”

Despite this partnership, he is acutely aware of the challenges ahead as they both continue to age and her health declines. He has suggested to her family that they consider moving into a continuing care retirement community. Such a facility would allow them to transition from independent living to assisted living, and eventually, to nursing and memory care units as needed.

He recognizes that if they delay this decision, there is a risk that the facility may require her to enter memory care immediately, which would prevent him from living alongside her.

However, the woman’s daughter, who holds power of attorney for her mother, is against this plan. “She has never been fond of her mother’s gentleman friend,” Dr. Wells explained. “There has always been tension between them, along with a mistrust regarding his presence in her home.”

At present, the couple is navigating their situation with the assistance of home care aides. As societal norms evolve, Dr. Wells points out, “We are likely to see more instances of such situations, especially as older adults place less emphasis on traditional marriage.”